Sunday, May 3, 2009


Yesterday, Jack and I went over to some of our friends house. Every month or so, our friends Karen and Toby, have a get together at their home. There are always several of our friends that attend, so we always have a great time.
Movie and game night usually means potluck. Jack and I brought our famous cheeseball and barbeque ribs, and since everyone else brought their favorites, we all ate like kings, talked through the movies they had rented, and played a cut throat game of

Today, has been relatively quiet. Jack has been napping all day, which leave me lost in my own thoughts. (not always a good I have been thinking about the different kinds of friendships we have in our lives.

There are work friends. Work friends are work. I admit I have a couple of work friends I will hang out with (some) outside of work, but most of the time, once I clock out, I don't speak with any of them until the next work day. If I quit, usually the friendship is over just like the job.

Jack and I have mutual friends. Jack and I are different. I can be more outrageous and loud at times, but basically I am a pretty shy person. Especially, if I don't know the people I am around. Jack on the other hand, is very outgoing. He is comfortable in his own skin and people seem to gravitate around him. He is beautiful inside as well as outside. and others recognize and appreciate that beauty.

When we hang out with mutual friends, usually they are Jack's friends that I have gotten to know, or/and I get along with their partner or spouse and we hang out and like one another. They are fun to be with and are pretty much a staple in our lives.

There aren't many friends I have on my own. I have a best friend from school, Pam, that we call and talk with one another. We know both of our secrets and the struggles we had during our younger years, so we have that in common. There is something about childhood friends, that can't ever be replaced. They know you in ways others never do. They are around you while you are finding yourself and your place in the world. I guess that is why I always think Pam will know and understand me like no other.

I think I mentioned that Jack is the one who has encouraged me to branch out online. In doing so, I have an internet (best) friend. Funny, how that happens. When I got online I never expected to connect with another person, but I have. I find myself telling my friend things I don't tell others. For some reason, I trust this person not to hurt me. It amazes me how much we have in common. I find myself worrying about my friends well being, I am excited to see how my friends day has gone, and she has become important in my everyday life.

It's funny how friends come and go. I wonder why we let go of some people's friendship so easily and move onto others. I know we grow and change, but how come we don't try to stay connected with the people we invested time with?


  1. Nice to see you back posting. And so glad you are feeling better again.

    I feel the same way about work friends. I've made some over the years from my old job that I still see maybe once a year but for the most part once the work day is over you don't really think that much about your work friends.

    I don't make friends easily. I'm fairly anti-social because I am very much a shy introvert and I can probably count on one hand (maybe two) people I am close to. So I completely get where you are coming from.

    I have an internet best friend too who I adore, too. ;-)

  2. Thank you M.D.S.S.

    I missed you, too! As you

  3. Shayne,
    I too, have a friend from when I was a girl. She knows all of my secrets, too. We only talk a couple of times a year, but it's always good to catch up with her when we do talk.
    You called it when it comes to friends at work. As soon as I am home...I never hardly give them a second thought.
    I have several internet friends. Sometimes I think it is easier to be yourself when you are not face to face with others. It's safer somehow.
    Loved your post!

  4. Hey Shayne,
    I'm the same way with work friends, we're friendly during working hours but once I'm off for the day I really don't think of them or see them outside of work.
    As for real friends, I have very few, I'm seriously shy and a homebody. It's actually surprised me that I've been able to "meet" and talk to people so easily lately, although I guess the anonymity of being online is what has contributed to that.
    Still, even though my new friendships are online and not face to face, I'm really enjoying them, which goes to prove it's never too late to start a new phase in life.
    Lily :)

  5. Lily,

    You and Daisie have a good point. The internet can help us quiet ones come out of our shell.

    Thanks for posting your comment:) I am glad to see I am not alone in thinking this way!


  6. Oh, you're definitely not alone, Shayne. My hubby's the social butterfly, I am not. I am very content to stay home, whereas he thrives on social interaction. I only have a few good 'in person' non-related friends. OK. Two. One is a local writer, and the other is a work friend. I've worked with her for 8 years and she's awesome, shares my odd sense of perverted humor, and she's the only person at work who knows I write books. Everyone else there...well, there are a handful that I truly like as people (not that I'd be long term friends with them or anything, but they are good people) and the rest could quit tomorrow and I wouldn't miss them.

    I have more good online friends than 'in person' friends. As Shellie and Lily mentioned, I think it's easier to be yourself when you're not face to face with someone.

    Excellent post, by the way. :)

  7. I want to thank everyone for sharing your story with me. It means a lot.


  8. Hey Shayne...

    I took a mini blog vacation so i am a little late to the party but had to chip in now I'm back..

    I get you on all the points you made - I have a friend as well, who knows where all the skeletons are buried from my past - but are we best friend no - we have sort of a guy relationship - we separate when we need to, but know that if we need each other it's only a matter of picking up the phone, with none of the fuse of pouting about why you didn't call we just get on with the matter..

    My job dictates just by what it is that I don't develop close friends - so work people are just people I have to deal with in order to get the job done.. I have been there for years and I could not be happier with the status quo - some of those people - I don't want to know.

    I have as yourself a online friend(more than one really) and we literally get on like a house on fire - I do go on the principle that they have my best at heart and i have hopfully met a friend for live..

    In real life - there's like a sign over my house - all welcome, so we (my family and I) have a steady gang who are constant and always there for support - I like how it is, thereby meaning - when i say get out and don't come back - like clockwork they are back for b/fast the next morning..

    Wonderful post...